A lot has changed in my life. As a child and even a young adult I wa naive to think that my life would be this happy peaceful life full of peace and happiness. You know the kind of peace that comes from being married, settling down and starting a family! Well I did all of that, and I was very unhappy in my marriage. I felt that I could not and would not measure up to the perfect mother. I felt that I was no good at anything. My mother was diagnosed with cancer and died 5 short months later after living 55 years of a happy healthy life. My then husband was not much for emotional support and our marriage was very rocky. We separated and I found myself contemplating divorce as the only option to escape my hurt and pain, the loneliness of losing my mother and best friend and still not having a husband that would help me through the hardest time in my 33 years of life thus far.
So what does one do when feeling so alone, like a failure, and not able to adequately live life to the fullest with peace and contentment in everyday living?
First watch this and lets talk about what I started to do?
I did everything. I cooked from scratch. I sewed clothes. I quilted. I ran a household, which can be more stressful when you own a home. There were many things on my plate with 6 small children. On top of that I practically lived at the school volunteering in my childrens classes and in PTO holding various different offices over the years. I was also very involved in church with many areas where I gave of my time in service! Don’t get me wrong, I loved doing all of these things, I was passionate about making the best choices for my family and children. But I lacked 2 things, making the best choice for me, and learning to balance my time by saying no to things and delegating out responsibilities that could be delegated. I could no longer handle the pressures that were upon me and I cracked. I was broken. I was a mess.
I moved in with a family member. I was taken care of along with my 6 children. I began to really truly feel love for the first time in my life. I was learning who I was and the importance of taking time for myself. I learned that my house did not need to be picture perfect like out of a magazine. I was dragged out of my comfort zone and lifted to a higher state of life. For the first time I felt as if I had someone that truly cared about me. Who really loved me for me and not for my body and what I had to give but simply just for “ME”. Life is not meant to attain perfection overnight rather let us remember as quoted in Corinthians 13:9 ” For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong:and this also we wish even your perfection.” It is ok to to have a goal in becoming perfect as long as we know and can acknowledge our weaknesses. We really need to look to Christ who is perfect. Study his life and seek understanding in His teachings and then use those teaching to help us become perfect in Him!
Next time stay tuned for what strategies I used that worked to help me and what ones I used that I decided for me I could not use anylonger!